At a loss for words? Gen Z is outsourcing the hard conversations to AI

At a Loss for Words? Gen Z is Outsourcing the Hard Conversations to AI

At 2 a.m. on a Monday, Emily received a message from Patrick, a classmate she had dated two days prior. The pair, both Yale juniors, were introduced through mutual friends. To maintain anonymity, CNN changed their names. Patrick opened with a playful emoji: “Hey Emily! I hope your half-marathon went well — I’m sure you crushed it.” He then asked, “Bear with me here — I’m not the best at this kind of thing, but here goes.” His message expressed a desire to “hang out more — whether it’s just as friends or whatever it was we were this weekend,” while stating he wasn’t “looking for anything too serious right now.”

Initially, Emily found the text “really proper” and assumed Patrick was simply being polite. “I knew he was a nice guy, so maybe this is just how he texts,” she said. However, after sharing it with friends who analyzed it via an AI detector, she realized the message was “99% AI.” Patrick confirmed using ChatGPT to draft his response, admitting he struggled with crafting a rejection: “What do I do here? It’s the first time I’ve seen someone since my high school girlfriend, which is why I was nervous and wanted a second opinion.” He described the process as relying on the chatbot to “spit out a response” after providing the context and his emotions.

Emily noted the AI-generated text made her unsure of Patrick’s intentions. “I couldn’t tell if he wanted to be friends or what,” she said. Patrick, however, believed the message conveyed his clarity. “My main goal was to express how I felt about the situation,” he claimed. “Looking back, that was pretty poor behavior on my part. I think delaying the decision made me turn to Chat.”

Researchers warn this trend is becoming more common. A growing number of young people are using AI to handle social interactions — from writing rejection texts to interpreting mixed signals. Dr. Michael Robb, Common Sense Media’s research head, labels this phenomenon “social offloading,” where AI replaces human effort in navigating relationships. He observed similar behavior in Gen Alpha and some millennials, suggesting it’s not exclusive to Gen Z.

A 2025 survey by Common Sense Media found that one-third of teens now favor AI companions for serious conversations over humans. “If you use AI to draft messages to friends or partners, you’re outsourcing the communicative act itself,” Robb explained. The issue, he argues, has two sides: it creates “expectation mismatches” for recipients, while also potentially weakening emotional development. “This habit may leave an already isolated generation even less equipped for the unpredictability of real human connection,” he added.

Emily expressed concern that Gen Zers are struggling to articulate their feelings. “I worry they’re avoiding the messiness of their own emotions,” she said. She also questioned their ability to engage in meaningful social interactions, noting many friends use AI to draft texts or analyze conversations. “Imagine my little brother relying on AI to break up with his girlfriend,” she mused. “Right now he comes to me, but when will he turn to a chatbot instead?”

“You definitely don’t need to use AI; you’re an emotionally sane guy,” Emily remarked. “The interaction felt weird, but it’s something I see happening a lot.”

Patrick described the process as “consulting an expert,” but Emily saw it as a sign of hesitation. The story highlights a broader shift in how young people approach difficult conversations, raising questions about the long-term impact of relying on technology for emotional expression.